Broken Telephone / Che bella Italia!

So my phone conversation with my Mom yesterday went something like this:

Me: Hey Mom, guess what?
(much crackling, dead air, and static ensues on phone line as I was too cheap and miserly to spend the extra 20 euros to get a cell phone with good reception. Finally, after what seems like an eternity...)
Mom: What?
Me: I went to Italy yesterday.
(silence...dead air)
Mom: What?
Me: Mom, I went to Italy yesterday.
(more static)
Mom: Whaat?
Me: Mom. Mom.
Mom: What? You went where?
Me: Mom, can you hear me?
Mom (shouting): Yes, I can hear you, can you hear me?
Me (agitated): Ummm... kinda. Are you talking really loudly, I can barely hear you.
Mom (talking really loudly): Yes, I'm shouting! Where did you go?
Me: To Italy. Yesterday.
***crackle crackle***
Mom: You went to Italy? Wow! When did you go?
Me: What?
Mom: When?
Me: Whaat? Oh... yesterday. On Friday.
Mom: So you went to Italy yesterday.
Me: Yup.
Mom: Oh.... Cool! I can hear you much better now. So what were you saying?

FIN
***
Ummm... so yeah, for those of you who didn't quite get that (like you, Mom!), a short recap. On Friday, me, my roommate, and Mr. Marcinmoka himself (whose photoblog is, like, sooooo not a "blog" blog *wink* ) went to Italy and back- well, technically. Ventimiglia, Italy is 45 mins from Nice on the train and is mostly known for its cheap liquor and cheap food and bric-a-brack market (Toronto peeps- think Kensington Market). Most notably, Ventimiglia is a haven for cheap designer knockoffs like counterfeit Louis Vuitton handbags and vinyl shoes that vaguely ressemble Manolo Blahniks or a pair of Jimmy Choos. And so we went. And saw. And conquered. And I came out of the whole deal with a bagful of cheap fruits and a very functional brown scarf that I purchased for a mere 2 euros. Sweeeet. And to top it off, I ate gelato. In Italy.
Ah, la bella Italia!

Io parlo Italiano / Hollywood in Europa

So, some of you may remember when I bragged (er, told you) about having satellite tv in my new apartment. Well. What I neglected to realize at the time is that, more specifically, I have Italian satellite tv (which I guess makes some sort of sense since the owner of the apartment that me and C rent is Italian and resides in Bergamo, Italy). Which means that, of the 500+ channels that we have, about 75% of them are regrettably in Italian, a language which I can only remotely understand. Of the other 25%, about 24.999% are in languages that not only I cannot understand, but can barely identify (like Polish, German, Arabic, and a plethora of others that may include Trekkie for all I know). There are about 6 French stations and 4 English ones. Unfortunately, I'm too shallow to appreciate the English ones as they are all "serious" news channels like BBC world and CNBC, and something about NASDAQ and stock exchange reports just doesn't tickle my fancy/stir my soul/light my fire. Regrettably, I'm more into programming of the tabloid TV/trash talk show/cheesy soap opera variety. Darn.

But I digress. Being the naturally resourceful ladies that we are, me and C have made do with what we have. So in the last few days, we have watched Indian music videos, a Bulgarian concert, Egytian news telecasts, and even a little bit of the now infamous Al-Jazeera network. But we've really had our fill of Italian tv. Not surprising, since there are such a wide variety of Italian channels to choose from. I can now count from 1 to 100 in Italian and have increased my Italian vocabulary from a scant 10 words to about 30. Last night and the night before, we sat transfixed in front of the television as the "Miss Italia" beauty pageant unfolded. That's right folks, the pageant was about 7 hours long and had to be shown on two nights. We watched about 4 of those hours. Mamma mia. But more interesting was the guest judge that they had on. It was none other than Mr. Bruce Willis himself- you know, of Demi Moore / Ashton Kutcher fame. I almost didn't believe it was him, until they showed a 2 minute montage of his various movie roles. How odd. Wonder how he got that gig. Though, with the bevy of beauties to choose from, don't be surprised if you see Bruce with a pretty little Maria/Anna/Claudia on his arm at the "Die Hard 26" movie premiere. Lord knows that Bruce (and Demi, for that matter) has a penchant for dating younger people....
But the appearance of an American celebrity on European television was definitely weird. Maybe it's just me, but something about it just seemed kinda mismatched, like eating pickles with yogurt or something. What's more, a few nights back I spotted none other than songstress Mariah Carey on "Star Academy" (France's version of American Idol). Madame Carey, who was actually referred to as La Grande Diva on the show, made a guest appearance as the hopefuls sang (in poor English) her songs. Hilarious.

These sudden (and incongruous) appearances of Hollywood types on European tv makes me wonder who'll turn up next, and in what capacity. Maybe Puff Daddy (er, P. Diddy) Coombs as a competitor in a televised Swedish pie-eating contest?

French Women Don't Get Fat / Studies in Gluttony

#1 Reason as to my stomach told me 'thank you' this morning: I ate a whole baguette smothered with camembert cheese (and it was damn good, down to the last morsel, thank you very much). Ahhh, the sweet mystery of the French diet. I don't know how these people stay slim when so many carb-laden goodies comprise such a large part of their alimentation. Dr. Atkins must be rolling in his grave. Though the French must be doing something right. Or at least, something "right enough", since I distinctly remember that a few months back a French lady uncovered the "French paradox" in her book "French Women Don't Get Fat". Surely she made some good coin off of the sales (especially since the book was specially marketed to diet-crazed North Americans). She probably bought an abundance of cheese, bread, and wine with the revenues... ;-)
So back to my near religious experience with the baguette this hallowed Sunday morning. Yesterday (Saturday), in preparation for the 'big day', I went out to my local Monoprix (kinda like a smaller French version of Wal-mart?) and bought myself a block of camembert cheese (not too stinky, but just stinky enough). After scoping out a few bakeries in the area, I finally came upon the winning baguette; just the right color and texture (you know, not too doughy, but not too crusty)- still warm from the oven. Even though the plan was to buy the baguette en route to the Internet cafe, I couldn't pass up the opportunity of having warm bread and camembert cheese! So I rushed back to the apartment and ate the whole thing (though I initially thought to save half for dinner). And boy was it mmmm mmmm good lol. I could get used to this...

So... life in Nice is good. In other news, later on this evening I'm going to the movies; I'm supposed to be seeing "Les Poupées Russes" (The Russian Dolls), which is actually the sequel to "L'Auberge Espagnole" (The Spanish Apartment). It's about- well, actually, never mind, I'm too lazy too write any plot synopses lol. Though, Audrey Tatou, the girl from "Amélie", stars in both films. But whatever.
Anyway... gotta go as my stomach is growling, so I'm off to eat the fourth croissant in a four-pack of croissants that I bought... yesterday.

And, uh, no, my pants aren't getting tighter, they just... er... shrunk in the washer and dryer. But thanks for asking.
;-)

From "Sans Domicile Fixe" to "Locataire"!!

So in the last episode of "Oneika does France", our heroine found herself in a bit of a conundrum... staying at a (very spartan) hotel (hostel) whilst living out of a (battered)suitcase, subsisting on (60 cent) croissants and (no name brand) water... pounding the (hard and unforgiving) pavement, looking (day after day) for (decent and reasonably priced) lodging... her (limited and modest) cash flow dwindling by the minute...

Enough of the melodrama lol. But what's a girl to do?? Luckily, my dear friends, in the space of a day I have managed to go from homeless (sans domicile fixe) to a full-fledged renter (locataire)! My roommate C got to Nice on Wednesday and by Thursday afternoon we were signing the papers on the (more than decent, semi-reasonably priced) apartment! It's small though, and only has one bedroom, so we're turning the living room into a bedroom... However, what the apartment lacks in size, it makes up for in location and character! It's downtown, only a 10 minute walk from the Mediterranean sea, is newly and completely renovated, has an oh-so-french terrace/balcony, and is equipped with free satellite tv... booyah!! So as you can imagine, I'm pleased as punch and feel soooo adult, you know, since I have my own apartment and all lol.
So excuse me while I go home and gloat (to myself, in the dark).
;-)

J'arrive! / (Mis)adventures in France

WARNING: this will be a LONG post... lol, so skim if you like!!
So I'm here! It's my 3rd day here and I'm in an internet cafe, but needless to say that after 20+ hours of transcontinental travel I'm finally in Nice, safe and sound. But of course, it being me, my arrival and subsequent "settling in" to my new life in Nice did not come without a few minor "glitches"... So most of you know that after an arduous search for lodging that I had finally found a studio apartment in a residence for students and young workers in Nice... yeah, well that didn't work out. Long story short, the place turned out not only to be located VERRRRRY far from the downtown core of Nice (which I had initially thought, it's actually located in the far eastern part of Nice), but it was also located in an "unsavoury" (aka kinda ghetto!!!!) part of town. The icing on the cake?? This residence should have really been called a "Roach Motel" for reasons that I won't elaborate on!! YUCK!!! Those of you who know me well know of my deathly fear of six-legged vermin so I wasn't about to stay in that place any longer than I had to!!! So after numerous and desperate phone calls home to Mom to complain/freak out/vent/get motherly advice, much hand-wringing, and after one horrid night in that place (sleeping with all the lights on and with one eye open LOL), I vacated the premises and moved myself and my two heavy suitcases all the way across town (on the public transit, to boot!) where I'm now staying in a hotel, LOL. Oh la la. Tomorrow I have to go back to that place to see how much of my money I can get back so wish me luck!! Luckily, I don't count on staying in the hotel for too long; I've been in contact with an American girl who will be teaching English at high schools (like me) and we'll be looking for an apartment together. She gets here on Wednesday!
Anyway, despite my "interesting" initiation to life in Nice, things are wonderful... The weather is gorgeous and the people in Nice are, well, very... nice lol. Some of the French people I've been talking to ask me if I'm from Quebec, don't realize I speak English, and tell me that I'm quite charming(LOL LOL LOL). As for getting to know people, I met up with another English assistant yesterday and she showed me around town (she moved to Nice a few weeks back with her French boyfriend). We walked along the beach boardwalk and sat down at an outdoor cafe, good times! Later on this evening I'm meeting up for drinks with another Canadian girl; she has actually been here for a few weeks, I think, teaching English at the local university. So should be fun!
Anyway, I'm off to the beach in a bit to enjoy the sea and the good weather! I'll write again soon, and feel free to write me and leave comments!! I love hearing from you guys!

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

So after much procrastination, I've finally decided to jump onto the blogging bandwagon so as to keep family and friends abreast of the "goings on" en France, where I'll be an English teaching assistant in a French high school. Thanks to my mom and a couple of good friends (big shout out to J-Dawg and Juney!!), I'm packed and ready to go. Somehow I managed to pack most of my life into 2 medium-sized suitcases, but only after much huffing, puffing, and sitting on top of said suitcases (in an effort to flatten all that was inside, of course! lol). I board the plane in a few short hours... admittedly, this trip will be brutal as I am just realizing that I'll be traveling a for a loooooong time before I get to my final destination... I fly out from Toronto at 2:00pm today (Thursday) and don't get to Nice until Friday afternoon. My itinerary is daunting: I fly from Toronto to New York City, change planes, fly from NYC to Paris, then take a train from Paris to Marseille, then get off that train and then take another one from Marseille to Nice, my new home. Eek! Anyway, gotta go, I'm going to do a last minute luggage check. Next time I post I'll be in France! Wish me luck!