Io parlo Italiano / Hollywood in Europa

So, some of you may remember when I bragged (er, told you) about having satellite tv in my new apartment. Well. What I neglected to realize at the time is that, more specifically, I have Italian satellite tv (which I guess makes some sort of sense since the owner of the apartment that me and C rent is Italian and resides in Bergamo, Italy). Which means that, of the 500+ channels that we have, about 75% of them are regrettably in Italian, a language which I can only remotely understand. Of the other 25%, about 24.999% are in languages that not only I cannot understand, but can barely identify (like Polish, German, Arabic, and a plethora of others that may include Trekkie for all I know). There are about 6 French stations and 4 English ones. Unfortunately, I'm too shallow to appreciate the English ones as they are all "serious" news channels like BBC world and CNBC, and something about NASDAQ and stock exchange reports just doesn't tickle my fancy/stir my soul/light my fire. Regrettably, I'm more into programming of the tabloid TV/trash talk show/cheesy soap opera variety. Darn.

But I digress. Being the naturally resourceful ladies that we are, me and C have made do with what we have. So in the last few days, we have watched Indian music videos, a Bulgarian concert, Egytian news telecasts, and even a little bit of the now infamous Al-Jazeera network. But we've really had our fill of Italian tv. Not surprising, since there are such a wide variety of Italian channels to choose from. I can now count from 1 to 100 in Italian and have increased my Italian vocabulary from a scant 10 words to about 30. Last night and the night before, we sat transfixed in front of the television as the "Miss Italia" beauty pageant unfolded. That's right folks, the pageant was about 7 hours long and had to be shown on two nights. We watched about 4 of those hours. Mamma mia. But more interesting was the guest judge that they had on. It was none other than Mr. Bruce Willis himself- you know, of Demi Moore / Ashton Kutcher fame. I almost didn't believe it was him, until they showed a 2 minute montage of his various movie roles. How odd. Wonder how he got that gig. Though, with the bevy of beauties to choose from, don't be surprised if you see Bruce with a pretty little Maria/Anna/Claudia on his arm at the "Die Hard 26" movie premiere. Lord knows that Bruce (and Demi, for that matter) has a penchant for dating younger people....
But the appearance of an American celebrity on European television was definitely weird. Maybe it's just me, but something about it just seemed kinda mismatched, like eating pickles with yogurt or something. What's more, a few nights back I spotted none other than songstress Mariah Carey on "Star Academy" (France's version of American Idol). Madame Carey, who was actually referred to as La Grande Diva on the show, made a guest appearance as the hopefuls sang (in poor English) her songs. Hilarious.

These sudden (and incongruous) appearances of Hollywood types on European tv makes me wonder who'll turn up next, and in what capacity. Maybe Puff Daddy (er, P. Diddy) Coombs as a competitor in a televised Swedish pie-eating contest?