Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Io parlo Italiano / Hollywood in Europa

So, some of you may remember when I bragged (er, told you) about having satellite tv in my new apartment. Well. What I neglected to realize at the time is that, more specifically, I have Italian satellite tv (which I guess makes some sort of sense since the owner of the apartment that me and C rent is Italian and resides in Bergamo, Italy). Which means that, of the 500+ channels that we have, about 75% of them are regrettably in Italian, a language which I can only remotely understand. Of the other 25%, about 24.999% are in languages that not only I cannot understand, but can barely identify (like Polish, German, Arabic, and a plethora of others that may include Trekkie for all I know). There are about 6 French stations and 4 English ones. Unfortunately, I'm too shallow to appreciate the English ones as they are all "serious" news channels like BBC world and CNBC, and something about NASDAQ and stock exchange reports just doesn't tickle my fancy/stir my soul/light my fire. Regrettably, I'm more into programming of the tabloid TV/trash talk show/cheesy soap opera variety. Darn.

But I digress. Being the naturally resourceful ladies that we are, me and C have made do with what we have. So in the last few days, we have watched Indian music videos, a Bulgarian concert, Egytian news telecasts, and even a little bit of the now infamous Al-Jazeera network. But we've really had our fill of Italian tv. Not surprising, since there are such a wide variety of Italian channels to choose from. I can now count from 1 to 100 in Italian and have increased my Italian vocabulary from a scant 10 words to about 30. Last night and the night before, we sat transfixed in front of the television as the "Miss Italia" beauty pageant unfolded. That's right folks, the pageant was about 7 hours long and had to be shown on two nights. We watched about 4 of those hours. Mamma mia. But more interesting was the guest judge that they had on. It was none other than Mr. Bruce Willis himself- you know, of Demi Moore / Ashton Kutcher fame. I almost didn't believe it was him, until they showed a 2 minute montage of his various movie roles. How odd. Wonder how he got that gig. Though, with the bevy of beauties to choose from, don't be surprised if you see Bruce with a pretty little Maria/Anna/Claudia on his arm at the "Die Hard 26" movie premiere. Lord knows that Bruce (and Demi, for that matter) has a penchant for dating younger people....
But the appearance of an American celebrity on European television was definitely weird. Maybe it's just me, but something about it just seemed kinda mismatched, like eating pickles with yogurt or something. What's more, a few nights back I spotted none other than songstress Mariah Carey on "Star Academy" (France's version of American Idol). Madame Carey, who was actually referred to as La Grande Diva on the show, made a guest appearance as the hopefuls sang (in poor English) her songs. Hilarious.

These sudden (and incongruous) appearances of Hollywood types on European tv makes me wonder who'll turn up next, and in what capacity. Maybe Puff Daddy (er, P. Diddy) Coombs as a competitor in a televised Swedish pie-eating contest?

5 Comments:

Blogger Gem said...

I heard that he changed his name to just Diddy!

5:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As someone else correctly stated, it's 'Diddy' now. Get with the program Oneika!

I can't beleive ppl tried to to Mariah Carey songs. I wish I had seen them attempt the parts where she starts singing in an octave that only dogs can interpret.

Hilarious.

As for the plane tickets -- how much money do you think one would need for 1 week sejour en France?

June

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My, my Oneika...You are just TOO much even over the internet. LOL. I'm glad you are having interesting times over there in Nice. You never know...all that Italian might come in useful if you should meet any Italian "friends" of the male variety. ;) Take care. Lotsa love.

6:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey neika,

Its the one and only nat nat hehehe. U have abadnoned me and left me for the beach darn I thought we had something lol. Oh my I swear I just finished reading all of ur lil "blog's", how fuuny. U are still the same crazy girl I remember nothing will change with u no matter where u are situated. HEHEHE!!!!! I'm here in the cold Sud's lol freezing and I here yea ass (as auntty winny would say hehe) is at the beach shoot I hope u know I'm debating coming up now and seeing u. lol oh neika how I love u soo. Any who on a serious note enjoy every sinlge day you are out in Nice or where ever that wind takes u cause god has blessed with many things. Girl u deserve it damn girl do u. Oh an i thought the funniest thing was u and ur six legged creatures lol u kill me dang yo. Anywho talk to ur black bum bum bum later bye cuz.

6:53 PM  
Blogger Oneika said...

@ tiff: oh yeah... i was sposed to call u *kiss teet* gyal, yuh dun know that im slack!
@ eunji: im still holding out for "magnum" friends, if you know what i mean lol
@ natty: u so crazzzzzyy. i see your msn name said something about cheescake- aunt winnie's i presume? dyam greedy! lol

thanks for clarifying the p. diddy thing!

3:46 PM  

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